It’s not a secret that our current physical geographic location has been bumming Chris and I out for the better part of the last 5 years…turns out that someone finding a house for you to purchase in the merchandiser seems convenient enough…but trying to sell that same houseseveral years later might not be as easy. Naive as Chris and I were, we assumed that you live in a house for as long as you want, and then you sell it and you move. I guess not. So anyway, we’ve made it really nice over the past 10 years. We enjoy being INSIDE our home. We even enjoy being in our yard, if our neighbors have recently cleaned up after their 3 dogs (insert constant Spring/Summer/Fall time wafts of animal excrement blowing through the kitchen window…ahhhh!) and as long as there aren’t too many hospital employees taking a smoke break at the end of the block and if our diabetic neighbor isn’t “nasty drunk”…basically conditions have to be perfect. So anyway, until Chris finishes nursing school (2, 3 maybe 4 more years…who knows) I think we’re just going to get EVEN MORE comfortable at our current residence. Obviously our kids don’t know any better or care for that matter. They think having a hospital parking lot to hang out in is fun. I hope the hospital continues to feel the same. BONUS! When we are injured it’s just a short stroll to acquire any necessary medical attention!
Today, I’ve decided to put aside my shitty, ungrateful “when the hell is this season going to be over” attitude and I’m going to share my latest, most favorite household addition. Bird feeders! Our back yard has always felt a lot like a glorified cage to me…especially when there are 7 of us and at least 3 extra neighborhood kids in the yard. I’ve installed 2 bird feeders and I have to say, for as small of a yard as it is and being the only neighbor around that feeds the birds…things have been feeling very “Alfred Hitchcock- THE BIRDS-esque” in that tiny yard. Max and I are in LOVE! We eat our lunch on the porch and watch the squirrels and the birds fight for bird seed and it’s as close to nature as these kids are gonna get for now. And I think there’s something comforting in knowing that those birds could fly anywhere they choose…and they choose to be in my itty bitty inner city yard. Thanks for stickin it out with us, little birds…even if it’s just for the food.
My most dear friend and sister in Christ told me years ago that she felt the Bible verse Psalm 18:19 was given to her for me. “He brought me out to wide open spaces; He pulled me out safe because He is pleased with me.” First of all, I don’t imagine that God is necessarily particularly “pleased” with me…He may be, (grace and blood and all that supposedly means He’s as alright with me as He is with any other Christian) but it hasn’t been a real goal of mine in recent years (if I’m being honest and I am because this is my blog and if I can’t be honest here then what’s the point and if you don’t like reading this you can leave and never visit my blog ever again as that’s ok) and I haven’t given Him any reason to be any more pleased with me than with anyone else. Secondly, while I like to believe in God and assume that He loves us and wants good things for us all the time…Chris is more of a realist. He assured me that “God doesn’t care where we live.” He spoke from the viewpoint of there being much larger, more pressing issues for God to concern himself with…like Syrian refugees and starving children. I get that. So I fall somewhere in the middle…like “if He doesn’t care then why can’t we actually live where WE want…”. At the end of the day, it’s about preferences. I don’t prefer to smell dog shit from my neighbor’s yard or park my van 2 blocks from my house when the parking lot is full. I guarantee that our neighbors would LOVE some more “city friendly” residents living next to them. We are outside making noise ALL THE TIME! We have scratched their cars with our bike handles. We are messy and loud and we (the kids) spy on them from our tree house. We burn firewood which I’ve come to realize isn’t everyone’s favorite smell (it’s one of mine!) I’ve tried to tell myself that if we weren’t here, “where would the neighbor kids hang out and play…would they have a safe and fun place to be?”- but then I remember that it’s not my job to make sure every unattended kid in the neighborhood is having a safe fun time. I have 5 of my own kids to provide safety and fun -and that’s a full time job.
So the glass is half full and it’s looking like a few more years in the bird cage. And speed bumps…I’m installing speed bumps.
I love you; and I love the sweet little cage that you have there. It is one of the most welcoming spots I’ve ever stepped foot into. You are doing a beautiful job making it beautiful. May you someday have a place that you love deeply, or may the place you have someday become just that.