It is no secret that I am rarely at a loss for words, and so on the morning of Flynn and Iris’ birthday, after giving them each a “Swag Bag” I made them sit there and let me read my thoughts and words about them. I’ll put it here and hope to not lose track of it. They’re just a couple of real great kids. 

Flynn.

Flynn Isaac Krouse. 

You tore into the world. The first of your kind. A Krouse…from the love of Chris and Autumn. Heir to the red headed.  That’s what your name means. Who knew I would find myself 7 children deep into this union with nary a red head in sight.? But we didn’t know then that the red headed gene needs to be present in both blood lines for an actual red head to appear. That’s alright. We still know you are heir to the red headed. That might mean you aren’t necessarily noticed for any red hair…but instead you’re noticed for your strength of character. Please know how difficult and heavy life can be. But also know how much strength you have within you. One of your grandfathers was a welder and a logger and a marijuana dealer/convict and the other is a pastor of people and a preacher to men. You know your father and I well…so no introduction is needed. There are a number of destinies ahead of you my son. None of which is not EXACTLY what you are meant to do and be. Follow your heart Flynn. Do the thing that life doesn’t make sense without. If it’s an occupation or a woman or a car or a sport…do it. Follow what draws you in and captivates you…it is the way that you are meant to go.  You are stronger than your obstacles and you have been an overwhelming blessing to your father and I. We count on you to do what is right and you have therefore eliminated a great portion of our responsibility…bearing some of the burden of this family. Don’t think that it doesn’t come with a cost. My brother Andy was the first of my siblings. He bore the load, both physically and emotionally, that was there to be shouldered. I always felt stronger when Andy was there. You have that same strength. Don’t underestimate your role in the lives of those around you. Know you are being watched and admired and beheld. Be my oldest son with all the dignity you have effortlessly given the position. Skateboard and snowboard and play your baseball and APEX…but keep your eye out…for those that need your help. Even if it’s just your kind words or an unasked favor…just remember…that you have it to give. You are wealthier than you think. Know that our love for you is beyond time and space and logic. You can’t screw this up Flynn. We just want to know you along the way. Of course we’re sorry for our mistakes. Of course we wish it were always “Koombyah”around the campfire…but instead we’ll teach you how to stick with something when it’s hard…and we’ll teach you how to be a little scrappy when you need to stand up for yourself.  Know that it’s ok to stay the way you are…to stand your ground…but also know that it’s alright to change when it’s presented and it makes sense. When something is worth changing for…do it. You won’t regret it. Maybe it will be a lot of hard work…but we are hard workers in this family so you don’t need to be intimidated by that. I love you my son. Thank you for all your years of service to CK Drywall LLC. And especially, thank you for politely interrupting our lives 16 years ago. 

Iris. 

Iris Eve Krouse. A flower worth pulling over for. A flower worth getting a picture with. How have I found myself so blessed!?  To share laughter in the kitchen!  What fortunate women we are!  You are among my few favorite people. You are one of the most competent women I know. I’m sorry that your dad and I only go on dates when YOU are home…you’re just the most responsible and attentive and caring person we have in our support system. You see that.?.we made our own support system…and holy crap it’s a strong one. Please know how much we love you…your beautiful voice…your radiant presence. My dad always told me that wherever I went…sunshine followed.  I know that he was just saying it, but man did it feel good to hear. Here’s the thing…I’m NOT just saying it…my days are so much better with you in them.  My first daughter. One of only two daughters within my 7 children.  What a rare and precious gift I have known a daughter to be. I look to your ferocious spirit to remind me of what I once was and you call me to a place I have almost forgotten, were it not for you. I’m so honored to get to spend your 16th birthday on the slopes with you and Flynn today.  I’ll never be the snowboarder that you are but I know I can count on you to check on me occasionally and make sure I haven’t yet broken a hip. There’s no point mentioning you or Flynn’s “honor student” status or your startling work ethic because neither of you hold that in high enough esteem for it to be notable…but for the record…you’re a pretty good kid. Like a REALLY AMAZING KID. I get to be your mom and watch in amazement while you learn to harmonize and nag to go snowboarding and complain about Mr. Pearson’s class and enjoy the whimpers and love and closeness of a baby sister. I’m just a spectator, but it feels really good. May we spend our days together laughing until we pee a little. You are one of the best people that has ever happened to me. Happy 16th birthday.